Controlling Your Story

“Be the hero of your story if you canBe the champion in the fightNot just the manDon't depend on other peopleTo put paper next to penBe the hero of your story, boy, and thenYou can rise to be the hero once again”

• Be the Hero; Song by Big Fish Original Broadway Cast and Norbert Leo Butz

Very early in my Job Transition, I started networking and was given some sound advice on messaging.   What is one of the first questions everyone asked?  

“What happened?”

This is a really important time in the conversation…whether it is with a friend, recruiter or in a job interview.  You are setting the stage and an early impression for this person on who you are.  So practice and prepare for this moment…don’t just ‘wing it’.

The image of a politician comes to my mind.  They must have a ‘stump speech’ and be prepared to repeat it over and over and over again.  And when they are repeating it, they need to make it sound like this is the first time they are telling this story.  This is unusual for most of us and challenging.   We don’t often repeat something, it is hard to keep it ‘fresh’ and it is hard to stay consistent. 

However, here is where you get to tell ‘Your Story’ about how you are in this position.  The words that you use, the emotion you express, the time you take to say it and the message that the reader leaves with is going to be really important.   Spend some time writing out what you want to message and try it out with some friends.

Let’s think about our ‘audience’ for a minute.  Most of them are curious about the situation, but only at a relatively high level.  A few of your closest friends will want ‘the full story’, but most of the other people asking you ‘What Happened’ will want a relatively short, concise and logical explanation. 

Things to keep in mind in crafting your story:

• Spin: You are going to have the ability to ‘Spin’ this story a certain amount.  They are probably not going to do a deep fact check on your story, so you can take some liberties in how you explain certain parts of your story.   Pick a few areas that fill out the story, but put it in a positive light.

• Avoid the Couch: They are not there as your therapist.  So getting too emotional about the past will raise possible concerns for them about working with you.   Be even keeled in your narrative and stick to the facts.  This is not a time to share your concerns about the future or your family or how you were treated.

• Stay Positive: Don’t go to the dark side.  You may feel negative about the transition, and you may have real axes to grind about key people in that transition, but you need to keep it stable and as positive or at least neutral as you can.  Look to the future and help your audience believe that they would want you on their team.

• Time:  They want to know what happened, but they have limited time.  You don’t want to dwell on this topic.  You want most of your time together focused on all of the great things you could do for the next company your work for.  Put a brief story together with a couple bullets explaining the situation and then quickly move on to how you can help the next companies’ business.

• Language: make specific choices about key phrases.  Certain words have quite negative connotations…like ‘Fired’ or ‘that Bastard’.  Get out your thesaurus and try some variations on how you ended up in a job transition mode. 

Why do people want to know?   Well, for the most part they are trying to decide if you are ‘damaged goods’.  Are they going to be taking on a liability?   They are putting some of their reputation on the line with who they work with, who they recommend, who they network you with and who they ultimately hire.

The ‘Story’ needs to give them enough detail to understand what generally happened and give some assurance that you will be a person they are o.k. being associated with down the road.  Give them a few facts, your version of the story and quickly move on to the positive attributes you bring with you to any new endeavor.