The Sound of Silence during the job search

The sound of silence is something that you will need to get comfortable with during the job search.  The absence of sounds can be a welcome thing at times, but most this is only true up to some point.  Each person has their own individual tolerance for these silences.  Or sometimes the silence can be painful if it stretches on too long when you are expecting some feedback, schedule, offer, etc.  This great phrase is, of course, an oxymoron, and yet you may even find out that there are different kinds of silence. 

The silence of coworkers.  If you have already left your last position, then you are not heading into the office anymore and any typical ‘water cooler’ conversation you were used to is not there.  Depending on when you have departed (or maybe you are just contemplating departure), your ‘friends’ from work will have a new awkwardness.  This is perhaps the most disappointing thing about a job transition. Within the span of 24 hours, people that you may have had relationships with for years will suddenly be changed.  They may feel angry that you have left.  They may feel sad that you were shown the door.  They may be worried about their own position.  They will wonder about the optics of association with you to the remaining organization.  They may want to follow you to the next job.  A myriad of emotions that will fundamentally change relationships with the people you worked with, except those few most close to you…maybe.  

The silence of the phone.  What has been typically a two-way device, suddenly becomes mostly an outward-bound piece of communication technology.  There will be an initial flurry of calls and texts from close friends, but soon it will mostly be you reaching out.  And when you are not reaching out…the phone sits there and stares at you…passively.  With the wrong attitude this becomes a deafening silence.  You have to continue to be proactive and positive in the face of this type of silence.  With enough reaching out, the silence will lessen.  However, more often than not you will need to keep up the drum beat to have activity.  Lean into the silence and shoulder the burden of proactive outreach.  You are not bothering people, you are alerting people that you are available to help out a new business.

The silence of opportunity. These can be the most challenging silences.  Silences will exist between in inquiry, a first interview, a second interview and an offer.  Sometimes things go quickly, but often times it takes an unknown length of time.  It’s a bit like fishing.  You keep casting your line into different parts of the lake.  Finally, you get a strike on your line…someone interacts with you and indicates a possible job opportunity.  You respond and then you wait.  Kind of like when your fishing bobber bobs a bit and then sits quietly.  You know that something is going on under the water, but you can’t see what’s happening. The silence of waiting is the longest silence. You can reach back out and check on things, but you also don’t want to be overly persistent.  Part of fishing is patience; part is knowing how to move your lure to attract the fish and part of it is knowing when to cast your line again.

There are one or two hacks you can try to use on the opportunity silences.  The first is to end each interaction with a polite request on what would be a next step and when that might happen. This is professional and reasonable, but just know that it won’t always transpire the way they hope it will.  The second is to follow-up one time.   Wait a few days or a week, and then you can inquire nicely if they have any clarity on what next steps might be and/or the timing of them.

The silence of friends. This silence will vary greatly by friend, but there will be uncertainty about how much and how frequent you will want interaction.  The topic of job transition is a personal one and sensitive on many levels.  Your friends will be cautious about how to engage you in this discussion and aware that there is only so much they can do to assist you.  It is also not something that you can just ‘ignore’ as financial implications can affect activities that they feel comfortable inviting you to. You will need to strike a balance of getting support from friends, making sure the job transition topic is not the sole focus of conversation, finding time to ignore the topic and working to make your discussions with friends unawkward and as ‘normal’ as possible.

Dr. Seuss has a quote about being alone in “Oh, the Places You'll Go!” that says, "All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!".  The entire book is a great read and applicable to many stages of life…especially job transitions.  I highly recommend it.  Silence is often equated with being alone.  Recognize that part of this journey will be lonely and know that you can thrive and survive in this silence.  Part of this journey will have times of silence where you will need to have the confidence to reach out to friends, co-workers, recruiters and hiring managers to be comfortable filling some of these silences.